SPECIAL RECRUITMENT OFFER NOW AVAILABLE: ATTENTION ALL HETEROSEXUAL MEN!

• Are you unhappy with your lifestyle?
• Do you yearn for more in entertainment than monster truck shows and rugby matches have to offer?
• Do beer commercials leave you bored and disinterested?
• Are you more than a decade behind in fashion?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

Act now and you will be well on your way to living a fabulous, glamorous lifestyle as a HOMOSEXUAL!!!

For a limited time only, homosexuals are recruiting heterosexual men to become just like us! Let us help you in your transformation from bland to fab!!!

We'll give you all the information and steps you need to become a happy, healthy, fab fairy like:

1. How to make your home "Garden & Home" ready with extra tips on antiques, scatter cushions and foreign art!
2. The "secret" list of all the Madonna, Cher, Barbra Streisand and Nataniel cd's you MUST own!
3. The tongue trick invented in 1978 in a back alley in Bloemfontein!
4. The address of the "private fan clubs" of Ricky Martin, Mika, George Michael, James Small and Elton John!
5. Why you must just say "no" to bi-level stepped haircuts and mullets!
6. Dance steps for even the most rhythmically impaired!
7. Why dancing with a shirt on is a big no-no - unless you haven't been to the gym!
8. Why you MUST go to the gym!
9. "Gaydar" lessons - you will finally know the truth about that uncle who never married!
10. "in" and "out" list for the current week!
11. Style & grooming tips for the self-respecting gay man - say goodbye to the uni-brow!
12. How to wear a g-string with poise and dignity!
13. A dialect coach to assist with gay lingo - learn terms like: * Twink* Muscle Mary* Drama Queen* Nora* Dora* Priscilla* Hilda* Bear* Otter ....and their importance in conversation
14. Significant historical dates you need to know:* The year Donna Summer won her first Grammy* Barbra Streisand's wedding anniversary* The day Judy Garland died* Liza Minnelli's last rehab anniversary* The anniversary of the day Elton John met David Furnish

ACT NOW AND YOU'LL RECEIVE A CLOSET WITH THE DOOR REMOVED TO SYMBOLIZE YOUR FREEDOM!

Don't delay any longer!

Don't you want more women hanging off you than when you were straight?

Call 1-800-GET-FABU to BEGIN YOU LIFE AS A FABULOUS FAG!

Call today. Operators are standing by!

Offer void in Kakamas, Belfast, Graafwater, Benoni, Nigel and Hekpoort