It's Back! Dear Timmy!

DEAR TIMMY:

I recently had surgery to correct a defect in my urethra. The medical term for it is "hypospadias." I let my co-workers know in an e-mail and provided a link to answer any questions they might have.

The link had a photo, and now some people are accusing me of "inappropriate conduct." I have since sent out an apology and a warning not to go to the link.

Timmy, it was not my intent to be unprofessional, but I didn't want to have 35 conversations about what the condition is, or 35 conversations about why I am walking so slowly and with a cane. How should I respond? -- HEALING IN NEW YORK CITY

DEAR HEALING MORON:

First of all, Freak Show, no one (and I mean NO ONE) gives a shit about your god damn medical problem. You think your co-workers care about you? No, they don't and neither does Timmy.

Secondly, maybe if your parents would have had you circumcised like normal folk then you wouldn't be dealing with this disgusting problem.

I mean, come on, a fucking picture? You sent a link with a fucking picture to 35 fucking people? Are you just retarded? You must have never gotten laid in your life and now you are doomed to never get laid for the rest of your pathetic life. You are a sad creature. That's right, I said CREATURE!

If I were your boss, I'd have fired your disgusting ass already! Best wishes!

LOVE, TIMMY